Refueling Mind
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Grass is always greener?

mount-hood-on-drive

*photo courtesy of my iphone during a great vacation to Oregon…drive by Mount Hood

I was literally talking to a friend about their grass. And how their neighbor’s grass was always greener and how jealous they were. A typical dialogue of anyone from the midwest who spends most of the summer perfecting (or paying someone else to perfect) their lawn.

And it got me thinking. I have been very guilty lately of being a grass is always greener type person. We all do it. I’m sure some look at my life on social media and wish they could travel and have the single life I got to have this summer. And I wake up some mornings thinking it would be nice to have a family and be a stay a home mom. Or …which we all do…I look at someone on the street, or in social media, or even a couple that are friends, and want their life. Or I look at my partner, and wish they had a trait they don’t possess. but someone else I know does have. We all do it. I have no doubt he thinks the same thing at times. And then you start over thinking and second guessing your decisions. And then I ask myself, is this my gut telling me to do something different or is it just my anxiety or my grass is always greener type moment.

Don’t get me wrong, most of the time, I am very happy with my life and the choices I have made. And sometimes, deep down inside in that place that no one likes to admit….I look on social media and think I made a wrong turn/decision and I could be with that person married, or I should have taken a different job….or I should have made a different move…or gone to a different college….or etc. And we struggle. I do it. We all do. And social media makes it worse.

I had a dear friend that once was really bad with this. Everything was the grass is greener. Everything. And then he had a really tragic accident happen….and he made me have him write on a piece of paper…”when I get through this, I’ll stop focusing on the grass being greener and appreciate what I have left.” I haven’t seen or talked to him in years and I wonder if he kept his promise? We caught up quickly awhile back and he was already starting to be back at it in our dialogue. I reminded him.

I need to get better at this. So I can appreciate what is in front of me and the life I do have more. I am usually pretty good at this one. But lately, I’ve been letting the greener grass get to me. Is the grass ever greener? Does it exist? Is it your gut telling you something or is it simply anxiety or envy? Is it your instinct of fight or flight? Or is it boredom? Or day to day struggle that pushes you to daydream of another life and then yearn for it?

It is human. And yet, I (and we) need to remember that if we fertilize our own grass….it can be just as green. If we focus on what we have maybe it is the greener grass. I get sometimes that is not the case. But most of the time, it can be greener with just a little loving care and appreciation.

I got great advice recently. I was in a private session at Miraval spa in Arizona with a very wise and awesome man leading it, Wyatt Webb. He looked at me after observing me for awhile….it was an equine therapy session. And he said, “you don’t always have to re-build the engine and start over….most of the time it just needs a small tweak.”

#5 below is my hardest to quit. What is your hardest? Are you fertilizing your grass? Tweaking your engine?  Or are you so focused on something new that you miss out on the beauty of your life….a life I guarantee someone else is pining and yearning to have…..

 

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