I sometimes lose myself in the day to day. In my relationships, friends, Todd, work, and family. I forget to keep dating myself too. This weekend I started to realize this. I had a medical procedure done this week that left me unable to work out for 2 weeks and gave me some extra time in the evenings. Day 1-3 I was antsy. Had a headache due to my stitches, cooked up a storm, watched TV, and was just restless. I ended up doing my usual stuff- worked longer, worried about everyone else so cooked more for Todd, bought a few friends some gifts, bought flowers for my aunt, etc….Day 4-5 I spent with friends. I also noticed I was a bit more clingy to Todd. And I couldn’t figure out why not working out made me so restless. And then I realized when I work out, I can escape and reconnect with myself. It allowed me to escape and be in tune with my body and mind. So by Day 6 I realized this is my perfect opportunity to reconnect with myself in a different way.
I use to promise myself each week I was going to take myself on a date. And I use to be really good with this. But the last few months, I lost track of that. So this weekend, I took myself on some dates. I just window shopped (did a little shopping too), journaled in an outdoor park area, took myself to lunch, had my favorite cocktail while I people watched, and just sat in silence content and happy. Just re-acquainting myself to myself. Tomorrow I will also take myself to see La La Land.
Don’t worry, still plenty of time visiting with my friends and Todd. But also time for me. I noticed by doing this, I was more engaged with those around me and was better at staying in the moment. It really did set the tone for the rest of my relationships. . I was more relaxed and less anxious and it allowed me to connect better with others by first staying connected with myself.
When I have kids, I know this will lessen. But I hope I always hold on to this reminder. You always need to keep dating yourself. It is by far the most important date you will have! The dates may get shorter but you can still do them. Even just a quiet walk by yourself can be so rejuvenating.
Where do you take yourself on your self dates? Do you allow yourself to self reflect and/or think of nothing? Or of yourself on these dates? Or are you busy thinking about everyone else? How do you stay connected to yourself?