All posts filed under: Refueling Mind

Balance: The solution to most stressors

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I have found that most of my twenties and early thirties my balance was off. Balance to me means not taking anything to the extreme. For a long time, I either worked too much, worked out too much (I was always training for some race), maintained a strict diet,for a very short period drank a little too much (more in my twenties) and was an extreme friend or partner (always going above and beyond). I tried so hard in each of these that it was impossible to get it all right. And I usually ended up resentful and exhausted. I kept hitting walls. And I couldn’t figure it out. I kept saying I want more work/life balance but I didn’t know how to actually do it. I thought it meant working less. But I kept feeling drained in most areas of my life. I now have come to realize it is about working smarter and making sure the things that give you energy outweigh the things that deplete energy. So basically make sure your tank …

Grass is always greener?

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*photo courtesy of my iphone during a great vacation to Oregon…drive by Mount Hood I was literally talking to a friend about their grass. And how their neighbor’s grass was always greener and how jealous they were. A typical dialogue of anyone from the midwest who spends most of the summer perfecting (or paying someone else to perfect) their lawn. And it got me thinking. I have been very guilty lately of being a grass is always greener type person. We all do it. I’m sure some look at my life on social media and wish they could travel and have the single life I got to have this summer. And I wake up some mornings thinking it would be nice to have a family and be a stay a home mom. Or …which we all do…I look at someone on the street, or in social media, or even a couple that are friends, and want their life. Or I look at my partner, and wish they had a trait they don’t possess. but someone …

The constant desire to want more….

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So much of our life we are wanting more. Whether it is to lose 10lbs, be single, not be single, marry, divorce, kids, no kids, kids to grow up so that you have some freedom again, kids to not grow up because it is going too fast, new job, more money, more vacations, less or more from a partner, etc. And we look at facebook and instagram and read about celebrities and wish for something we don’t have. We play the lottery in hopes it will make our life better. We are envious of someone else’s life in some way and we are always planning ahead on what else we want to achieve. If we move it will be better, if we make more money it will be better, if I buy that dress or go on that vacation it will relieve my stress, etc. We all do it. It is human nature. So as I was writing and journaling this week, I came across two quotes. Both I thought were so powerful and so …

Perspective

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With so much going in the world ….it is still hard to keep perspective sometime. You forgot how lucky you are by having some of the basics- a job, your health, a family, your life, a safe home to go back to,  etc. Most of us usually have most of the basics. Yet we get so caught up in all the day to day stress. I worked a long intense day. I was really excited to get home to eat and work out. I have gained a few pounds lately and needed to get my act together and I was on a mission today. As soon as I got in the car, I hit traffic. I am very lucky to currently have a 25minute commute. Well tonight….lasted over 90minutes. Once I was rerouted several times due to blocked roads I was ready to scream with road rage. I thought it was usual DC blocked roads due to a political car brigade. However, when I finally saw what was going on, it was a 10 car …

Chapters in Life

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I loved this quote when I saw it “Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.” Most days we judge a person within seconds of meeting someone. And that judgment sticks. Yet, we don’t take the time to understand who that person is beyond that moment. To understand the whole book. There is a woman who works the front desk at the condo building I live in. I see her every Saturday, she is quiet and comes across a little awkward. And I always just said hello but never talked to her. Today I walked in and asked her how her day was? First time I have ever actually asked her a question. And she had the most interesting response. She basically went on to say her son had gotten hurt this morning and she was thankful that he didn’t break his back after an ER visit. And she went on to talk about living in the moment and how your attitude and behavior makes it a good or bad day. Not …

It takes energy, generosity, gratitude and discipline to be lighthearted…

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I am doing a 5year happiness project. Each day for 5 years you write what you are thankful for each day. Just a sense of gratitude each day, as a way to remind yourself of all the reasons to be grateful. It is actually quite powerful and yet so simple. It heals and helps reduce stress. And helps keep things in perspective.  There is a good quote by Buddha “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one which gets burned.” So instead of focusing on anger, resentment, envy, or jealousy….I am trying to focus on gratitude. And mindfulness and mediation. Some days are easier said than done. So this project each day of writing just one sentence is really helping me keep things in check.  As part of this process I am also trying to focus on treating myself like a good friend. Listen, be kind and forgive yourself and others through the process of gratitude. I am finding being more lighthearted is …

Competition: Who are we competing with?

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Competition. It is a word that has always been in my life because I was an active athletic girl (and now woman) who loved to compete. I loved competing in sports against myself, my peers, and rivals. Now as an adult, I realized there is still a lot of competition occurring unconsciously all around us. And definitely not just in the sports arena. I know you may think this is obvious.  But I think a question we often don’t ask ourselves individually is…who are we competing against in our daily life? Our coworkers? Ourselves? Our sister? Our brother? Friends? Lover? Other family? And why are we competing? Is it all materialistic? Is it for attention? Is it to feel a certain emotion?  I realized that I was competing more than I realized beyond athletic endeavors. And it was definitely not a conscious thing. And so I have challenged myself to be present, realize why I am competing and with whom? And then ask the question, is this necessary or do I need to change my …

Sunday Morning Walks

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  I sometimes underestimate the power of a Sunday morning walk. I live in a city and it is the best time of the week/day to walk. The city is sleeping, you notice more of its beauty, it whispers to you as you walk…sometimes screams to you…to look at the architecture, everyone is so happy on these walks, and it is day of hope. The church bells are ringing, the sun is peaking through the clouds as the day opens up, and it is just so calm. It is a form of mediation for me. I usually do restorative yoga on Sunday evenings. If I can’t attend due to my schedule, then I always go for a Sunday morning walk. Today I went for two hours. Somedays I don’t want it to end and want the morning to stay forever so I can walk for hours. Somedays I like a companion to walk in silence with or to chat with as we see parts of the city for the first time (things we go by …

Balance

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Each day I remember and try to practice balance. Some days it works out well, some days I fail. It is hard to maintain balance and not let work, duties, chores, or one part of your life outweigh the rest. It is my constant Achilles heel and my constant struggle. I realize that each day I am successful at balance, I feel more fulfilled. Even if that means forcing myself to the gym, or to visit with a friend when I’m exhausted or making dinner with my love or sleeping vs that extra hour of TV or even getting organized. Downtime is key in balance. Someone gave me advice once and I try to do it as much as possible. They said to always ensure you get at least 2 hrs. of downtime to yourself a week. Use the hours however you choose, but always find time to relax. It re-energizes you and your soul. I like to think this is separate from workouts. It is quiet time. A drive, a book, mediation, a walk….something …