refuelingforlife

Awhile a back I shared I have a worry jar. A place where I write down my worries and place them in a jar so I can let go of them (especially the one’s out of my control). And in doing that, it helps free me  of that worry.

I also recently came across an idea from my friend Dawn that I am going to do this year as well. Todd agreed to do to it with me too so I’m excited. We are going to do each month so it is more realistic that we will complete this. Here is how it works: Each month, we are going to write down a memory of that month that we love. And put it in the jar. And then on New Years Eve of next year (2017), we are going to open them up and read the great memories. And celebrate the last year.

I hope to make this an annual tradition. Does anyone else want to try this?! You can do every week or every other week or every month like we do. I hope you enjoy!

What other annual traditions or new years resolutions do you set each year? Did you try the booklet I recommended in my last blog? I just completed mine and it was a good reflection and look forward tool to get my mind if the right place for the upcoming calendar year.

I hope we can all continue to keep things in perspective, focus on the positive things in live, live in the moment, and appreciate the love around us. Times will be both hard and wonderful in 2017, so having a foundation, memories, and loved ones surrounding you are so important. Loves and lives will come and go….it is part of life. But please try to make sure you make the most out of your live. Impact and love others fiercely and enjoy the ride! Ready for 2017 to begin! Happy New Year everyone!

*

Sunrise in Wyoming during a hike (picture from my iphone)

As you start 2017, I suggest trying my annual exercise reflecting on the past year. Look back, to learn from your success and failure and set some realistic goals for the year to come. It is a great exercise and highly recommend doing it. Start the year by refueling and re-energizing for the year to come! A sunrise to the year….a time to start over or redo or repeat. Here is the link:
http://yearcompass.com/

So as I was journaling today, I realized how darn good my life is in this moment.  I know what bad times feel like. We all do. Between illness, death, depression, bad jobs, bad luck, break ups/heartbreak, money issues, etc…..most of our life we always can remember the dark times and tend to wallow in them. But how often do we acknowledge and really celebrate the high moments to? Like really stop and be joyful during them. Close your eyes, soak the feeling in, and make sure you have these memories to get you through the dark times.

Life is so amazing too. And no matter how dark it gets, you can always find light and joy again. That resiliency and excitement of the unknown is what keeps us going.

So today, I am joyful for this moment. It may not last long or it may be a long moment in time. But regardless, I know what it feels like and I am so thankful and joyful for it.

I hope if you are going through a dark time, this gives you hope. I’ve been there and I’m not there anymore. And you won’t be there forever either. You will have the joy again. Here or in another life. It does come back. Over and over again!

And if you are in a joyful happy moment, take a minute and pause and soak it in so you can feel this when you close your eyes. Smile, laugh, appreciate it and be thankful for it. Life will humble you and I again, but for now embrace it.

I am struggling, admittedly. I am struggling to escape social media, the news, fear, ignorance, and the balance of not putting my head in the sand vs. not being so angry that is ruins relationships.  Trying to unite us yet make it clear I do not believe in hateful words spoken by our next president.  I go from being fucking pissed off, to being accepting, to being hopeful, to being scared, to being exhausted….and then wanting things to go back to normal.

As I have written many times, it is all about balance and perspective. So, I do believe that time will answer a lot of the questions. Yet, I don’t know how to balance this with a need to act in some way. I have people I care about that voted for Trump (and Clinton). And while I love those individuals and I don’t think you are racist…..it is hard for me to imagine anyone ignoring such hateful words in order to see a different America. I have so many questions yet I don’t want to ask them in fear our relationship will be damaged. Voting for some is a very private thing. They are not vocal and chose their candidate without fanfare and social media so how can I be aggressive in my questioning when they didn’t push their views on me? Is it fair to judge when they didn’t judge me? Yet I have so many questions like, if you don’t believe in racism or sexism or hate, then why would you vote for a man who represents that and built his political platform on those very things? If you yourself are a minority who he wrote or made statements about in a very hateful way…..Did you read his tweets and comments to the press?  How did it make you feel?  In history, we have had times where hateful people have risen to power and when ignored, it has led to very extreme things. Many say they are not bigots or racists but just believe he will evoke change. Yet, we don’t yet know what that change will be. And we do know, he is a very hateful angry man in what he has shown so far. So how do you manage this?

I am an independent. I am not someone who tows a certain party line but votes on the issues and the candidate. And in a normal election year, I honestly would not have this type of struggle. I honestly don’t enjoy politics. But we had so much hate this year. I can’t get past it. And now it is just creating more hate. For the first time in my life, I am questioning my safety and freedom. And I am genuinely worried about a large majority of people I care about. An intense feeling given for so long I have been passively watching politics and living my life day to day. Some will roll their eyes at this and say, just give it a chance. It will all work out. But even if things are okay (which I pray they are), how did we say it was okay to be hateful and be a bully? What happened that people I love and respect chose to support a hateful, bully?

What I struggle with is the role I play in moving on. I am someone that loves deep, always gives everyone a second chance, is optimistic to a fault, and strives for balance and perspective at all times. I am not an extremist. I am the opposite of that.  I strive for peace.

So, as I work through this and participate in the Women’s March on Jan 21^st and deal with my own path forward that is a mix of hope and anger and peace at times…..I will say we probably all need to step back and refuel a bit. And find ways to laugh and move forward.

So here are some tips regardless of how you individually feel that I have been trying or reading about:

• Get involved in your community. Instead of just voting (which hopefully you did), volunteer and donate. Make sure you put your vote into action.
  • We signed up to volunteer in the DC area this weekend. Please do so in your own community.
  • Start to build relationships and love your neighbors. Focus on getting to know your diverse neighbors more.
  • Keep informed.
• Get out in nature. Enjoy the parks and our beautiful country.
• Take a break from it at times. Turn off your phones. Read a book.
• Talk to people and maintain your friendships. We are all reacting differently so be patient with one another and try hard not to judge.
• Meditate
• Appreciate that we are all different. Teach love and the importance of the words you use. Be kind.
• Get sleep, eat, and find a way to laugh
• Spend time with puppies and kids

I leave this afternoon to go to a Friends Thanksgiving. Friendsgiving. There I hope to not talk politics but just hug and appreciate people.